Every once in a while, I get essentially the same inquiry, “I want to start a small vineyard in my backyard, and was wondering what clone of Cabernet Sauvignon would be best?”

That question always befuddles me, since it bypasses what should be the first question, “What variety would be best?” To that question, I never answer Cabernet Sauvignon, though perhaps if your backyard were in Oakville or Rutherford, Cabernet Sauvignon would be a good choice.

But for most places, Cabernet Sauvignon is a terrible choice. Cabernet Sauvignon is a very finicky grape, one that requires a very special set of circumstances to do well. Even in Napa Valley, the quintessentially correct place for Cabernet Sauvignon, it does well only in parts of the valley. If Oakville and Rutherford excel, Carneros, Calistoga, and Pope Valley are poor places to plant the grape. For Cabernet Sauvignon is a little like the porridge in the Little Red Riding Hood tale—it needs a climate that’s not too cold, and not too hot, but just right. A little too cold, and it yields a thin, vapid, tart wine. Too hot, and it loses all its varietal character, yielding a fat, low-acid wine that bears scant resemblance to those from Rutherford and Oakville.

I have another major problem with Cab. Almost every other red wine that you can name is a pleasure to make. They taste great almost from the moment you crush them. Once alcoholic fermentation is done, they bear the unmistakable characteristics of the wine they will end up being, albeit in a fairly brash, youthful expression. But even at this point, the wines are enjoyable. I often take a bottle of these young wines home to have with dinner, they are that pleasing.

The one exception is Cabernet Sauvignon. When young, the wines are undrinkable. You always go through a long period when you wonder if the wine will ever turn into anything you’d want to consume. At a year old, when pretty much every other wine in the winery is tasting great, the Cabernet Sauvignon still is tasting nasty. As a rule of thumb, it takes a couple of years before you start to get the exquisite flavors that Cabernet Sauvignon can attain. For many Cabs, those exquisite flavors never emerge, because the grapes themselves were substandard.

And by substandard, I mean of lower quality than mid-Napa produces. No doubt, there are other areas which produce fine Cabernet Sauvignon grapes. Sonoma is certainly one. But most places don’t produce the highest quality Cabernet Sauvignon, mostly because they don’t have that “just right” climate.

This discussion takes us quickly to the whole subject of the American wine consumer, who has been taught that Cabernet Sauvignon is king of red wines. That fact accounts for another fact, that millions of cases of piss-poor Cab get sold just because they are Cab, while many other varieties languish even though their quality is high.

And so, when some wine aficionado decides he wants to start up his own vineyard and make wine (something I applaud), the natural choice is Cabernet Sauvignon. But it’s the wrong choice most of the time. First of all, most backyard grape growers don’t really know the particulars of their climate. Maybe it’s just like Oakville. More likely, it’s nothing like Oakville. If you want to take the chance that you’ll be in the small quasi-Oakville environment, go ahead and plant Cab. And go out and buy a lottery ticket while you’re at it.

What’s crazy about this is that so many other grapes, grapes that are capable of making great wine, thrive in a wide range of climates. Syrah comes immediately to mind. In a cooler climate, it yields a racy, lighter wine that’s a pleasure to consume with all kinds of food. In a hotter environment, it produces a jam-packed, concentrated wine. Both styles are enjoyable.

So when someone asks which clone of Cabernet Sauvignon to plant, my response (unless you live in Oakville) is none.